Charlie Lawson was national director of BNI UK & Ireland for 13 years. He wrote the book ‘The Unnatural Networker’ and now trains, coaches and speaks on networking. Here, he explains how to put the fun back into networking, by developing new client and referrer relationships in a way that plays to your strengths. (Updated 27 April 2025)
Success as a lawyer relies as much on building a network as it does on legal expertise. But if the thought of another evening 'working the room' at a networking event is unenticing, what are your options?
Fortunately, networking doesn't have to be a chore. Successful networking isn't about forcing yourself into conversations long enough to deliver your pitch and scan yet another QR code. The best networkers put themselves at the heart of the communities they want to be part of – and enjoy themselves at the same time.
Your approach to networking
When young associates are sent out to network, success is typically measured by the number of new contacts they come back with, or worse, the amount of business generated. The process can be pretty painful, particularly for the shy, but at least there's a concrete result at the end.
Unfortunately, it probably isn't the result you want. The most successful associate – the one with the most new connections – has just confirmed how pushy and insincere some lawyers can be. New contacts does not equal new relationships. As for those lawyers trying to meet new clients at an event: forget it. No one goes to a networking event looking to buy – so selling is a complete waste of time.
The accomplished lawyer takes a different approach. You aren't looking for a quick fix, getting names to add to your list or working out how each person you meet can help you. Your focus is on building relationships – learning about people, and understanding their needs and interests. You make an effort to keep in touch, regularly, rather than just calling when you need a favour.
And you look for opportunities to help your contacts out. If you think they should know one of your other contacts, you introduce them. If you come across something that might interest them, you share it. They're at the back of your mind as a possible fit when someone asks you for a recommendation.
There's usually no immediate payback, indeed it could be years before you reap the rewards. You are enjoying the relationship for its own sake, and because you want to be part of that community. But if the opportunity arises for one of your network to help you out, you've built the sort of relationship that means you'll be the first person they think of.
"Networking isn't for everyone, but it is a necessity in business. Done correctly online and in person, it will have a huge positive effect. The key is not to sell, but to add value to your network."
Rich Dibbins, founder, Staxton Digital
Valuable contacts
Aim to build relationships with existing and potential clients and with potential referrers.
- Other lawyers with different areas of expertise can be a rich source of referrals. Even direct competitors may refer business to you when they face a conflict of interest – provided they trust you not to steal the client away from them afterwards. Other lawyers may have got there first, so do you offer the potential referrer anything special?
- Try to network with people who know your target market. They won’t necessarily have anything to do with the world of law – but a marriage counselor will have clients who may need the services of a divorce lawyer, just as an estate agent will have clients who might need a conveyancing solicitor.
- Experienced recruitment agents often have strong networks in their area of expertise, whether that's legal recruitment or filling high-level vacancies in an industry you target.
- It's often possible to identify a few key figures in any sector – the people who know everyone (or at least know someone else who does).
- Don't forget your existing network of old school friends, university alumni and former colleagues. Make an effort not to let them drift away.
Networking opportunities
It's not hard to find networking opportunities: for example, business networks like the Chamber of Commerce and trade associations, events hosted by clients, or local arts and charity events that attract higher net worth individuals.
Non-business-related groups and events can be a great place to network. One of the best networks I’m involved in is my running club. No one is there to grow their business – but some incredibly strong relationships have been formed through a mutual love of, in this case, running. What interests do you have?
Be strategic. Which seminars, conferences and exhibitions are your target clients likely to attend? Be where they are.
Get involved with causes that matter to you. Becoming a trustee, for example, lets you build relationships with other trustees, and with the wider community of supporters at fundraisers or other events. At the same time, you are boosting your reputation – and getting personal satisfaction.
Think about how networking ties in with your wider PR strategy. For example, there will be opportunities to network at events you sponsor, or speak at. Your own events, such as client briefing seminars, are another opportunity.
Don't forget social media and in particular LinkedIn. While online networking isn't a replacement for talking face-to-face, it can be a useful way to identify new contacts you want to meet, and to stay in touch with your existing network.
"Don't just go to networking events. Go to events – and network while you are there."
Paul Hudson, marketing director - Europe, Travelers
Event networking – especially for the introverted lawyer
Networking isn't easy for the introverted, but it can be learnt. Practice makes perfect .
- Start by getting yourself in the right mindset. Before you go in to the event, remind yourself this is about connecting, having a few conversations, and adding some value. Not selling!
- Set yourself a goal for the number of people you’re going to meet. Once you’ve met and had a conversation with, say, five people, you’re now done, and the pressure comes off. You can either get on with your day, or, as often happens, you stick around and have a few more conversations.
- To get into a conversation, look for people ‘checking their emails’ – that is, people looking at their phone in the networking throng of people. They are NOT checking their emails – they want someone to come and talk with them.
- If there isn’t someone on their own, look at the body language people are displaying. Some people will be in a closed formation – talking close together in a pair, or a small group all in a circle. Don’t approach them – look for people with open body language – more side to side. They are subconsciously saying "come and join us".
- Introduce yourself with "Hi, I’m X, can I join you?" There’s no need to complicate things.
- Not sure what to talk about? Ask the other person about themself, and use open rather than closed questions.
- Don’t just talk about business. Find out about them as a person – can you find common ground between you? It’s these connections that people will remember.
- When you meet someone that you want to continue to build the relationship with (ie a potential client or referrer), aim to get a time for a coffee (in person or virtually) in the diary.
- When you want to leave a conversation, don’t be awkward. Just say, with a pleasant smile, "It was lovely meeting you, I’m going to go and meet some other people now". Remember, everyone is there to meet people.
- Whatever follow-up actions you’ve agreed (eg sending them an email, making an appointment for a coffee, or connecting on LinkedIn), make a note of it. It’s easy to forget different follow-up actions for ten different people.
- After the event, whatever you do, make sure you complete those follow-up actions. Otherwise you’ll have failed the first test of credibility – and rendered attending the event a waste of time.
The good news for the introverted networker is that going to events isn’t the only way to network. Sitting down for a coffee with a contact in a one-on-one setting is just as powerful a way to build relationships – so if going to big events is too daunting, start out this way.
"You won't be the only shy person in the room. Look around and find someone standing or sitting on their own. They are feeling the same way you are and will be grateful you came over to talk."
Scott Simmons, BD coach and trainer, Legal Balance
Networking on LinkedIn
Social networks are such an important part of building relationships in the modern world – it is vital that lawyers have an integrated in-person and online network. Online networks will always have a massive advantage in their ability to connect much larger numbers of people across different geographies, as well as being a great place to check in with your existing network quickly and easily.
Networking on LinkedIn is also very much like networking in person: don’t sell, look to build relationships. A lot of the same rules apply.
- Start with the basics – get your profile completed and up to date. The most important items to complete are your Profile Picture, your Headline and the About section.
- Remember that LinkedIn is a social networking platform, not a social media platform. This means it’s more about conversation than broadcasting.
- Get posting on LinkedIn. Don’t feel you have to post every day – just start with, say, once a week and build from there. Consistency is key.
- What should you post about? Here are five quick ideas: 1. A client success story. 2. A testimonial from a client. 3. Education about your specific field. 4. Who you are meeting with, or events you are at. 5. What you do outside work.
- Don’t just repost the company page posts. No one interacts with a post entitled ‘Q3 Update’.
- Comment on other people’s posts – particularly those of your target market, or people that know your target market.
- Look to build your network by connecting with new people. LinkedIn limits the number of connections you can make with an introductory message – so to have the best chance of prospective contacts clicking ‘Yes’ to your invite to connect, first engage with their posts by commenting on and liking them.
- The vast majority of LinkedIn users never post or comment, so by being visible on the platform you are giving yourself a massive opportunity to stand out.
- When you’ve started to build a relationship with people, ask them if they’d like to have a one-to-one meeting over a coffee (in person or virtually).
"LinkedIn is a powerful relationship-building tool – but only if you show up regularly and engage with others meaningfully."
Joanne Campbell, head of business development, Thrings Solicitors
Networking no-no's
Avoid basic networking pitfalls.
- Selling or talking about yourself too much. As soon as someone sees that you are trying to sell, the barriers come up.
- Being invisible. Make sure people you meet at least know your name and that you are a lawyer. If nothing else, look to connect on LinkedIn.
- Hiding behind your phone or clinging to a colleague. Be truly present at events – looking around at people, ready to engage.
- Retreating to your comfort zone. If you leave an event without talking to anyone new, you've missed an opportunity.
- Food and drink. Don't get caught with a great mouthful of food. And don't rely on alcohol for confidence.
- Insincerity. Be yourself, or a politely edited version, or you will never create a real relationship.
- Looking over a person’s shoulder when you are no longer interested in them.
Networking top ten
- Don't sell, build relationships.
- Be genuinely interested in other people for themselves, not as a means to an end.
- Look beyond clients and potential clients to anyone who is involved with that community.
- Look for events and causes that genuinely interest you.
- Consider getting more deeply involved, for example as an event host or a charity trustee.
- Prepare for events. Identify the individuals you want to meet.
- Don't hide. Make a point of introducing yourself to people you don't know.
- The more you practice your networking skills, the better you get.
- Follow up new contacts and connect through social media.
- Nurture your network. Look for opportunities to help them.
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